mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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