I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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