The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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