Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
being pregnant is like rehab
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
