but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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