**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
