I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Help me help you realize you are a moron
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
