before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
