I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
