break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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