I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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