So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
