somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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