what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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