Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
