Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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