Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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