Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Randomize
