We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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