I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.