Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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