Are we in a gay sports bar?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
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Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
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If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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