please come you make the beer taste better
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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