I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
