he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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