You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
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Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
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I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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