is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
