my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
