come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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