My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
