You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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