Are we in a gay sports bar?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
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I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
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Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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