I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize