community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may now shotgun with the bride
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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