Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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