I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny