I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED