Texts From Last Night

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  (905): View more from Toronto

  me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.

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  (905): me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies. http://tfl.nu/dozm
  Replies (10) Good night (5154) Bad night (720)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.

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  (240): I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way. http://tfl.nu/5yxg
  Replies (26) Good night (4168) Bad night (1569)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen

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  (516): I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen http://tfl.nu/keq8
  Replies (18) Good night (1311) Bad night (8843)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.

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  (859): we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off. http://tfl.nu/uye4
  Replies (5) Good night (2229) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.

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  (920): Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit. http://tfl.nu/du3n
  Replies (1) Good night (1087) Bad night (2181)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats

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  (775): Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats http://tfl.nu/kxcv
  Replies (2) Good night (1490) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"

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  (586): omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather" http://tfl.nu/v5jx
  Replies (8) Good night (1457) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.

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  (228): Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park. http://tfl.nu/g3vi
  Replies (11) Good night (1661) Bad night (1366)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon

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  (512): Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon http://tfl.nu/vd4z
  Replies (9) Good night (2009) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot

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  (228): I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot http://tfl.nu/chtf
  Replies (1) Good night (952) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.

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  (843): Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck. http://tfl.nu/fj8t
  Replies (29) Good night (920) Bad night (2036)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).

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  (719): She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree). http://tfl.nu/fkun
  Replies (7) Good night (962) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Thank you for caring about my cervix.

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  (616): Thank you for caring about my cervix. http://tfl.nu/akl3
  Replies (1) Good night (603) Bad night (236)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"

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  (410): he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco" http://tfl.nu/ntm8
  Replies (4) Good night (890) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.

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  (703): I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree. http://tfl.nu/r6v0
  Replies (0) Good night (432) Bad night (221)

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