Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
