when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Welp...herpes.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
