I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
