I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session