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if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
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