Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
