Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial

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  (908): i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial http://tfl.nu/oypl
  Replies (6) Good night (1564) Bad night (565)
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  (949): View more from California

  hell yes lets make some ravioli

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  (949): hell yes lets make some ravioli http://tfl.nu/0xmr
  Replies (9) Good night (2351) Bad night (568)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"

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  (314): this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy" http://tfl.nu/dlxe
  Replies (40) Good night (1851) Bad night (3857)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail

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  (864): I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail http://tfl.nu/plfb
  Replies (47) Good night (778) Bad night (13235)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.

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  (919): its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night. http://tfl.nu/phgw
  Replies (73) Good night (8513) Bad night (1413)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.

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  (937): talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive. http://tfl.nu/ejtq
  Replies (19) Good night (4082) Bad night (1151)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care

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  (503): just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care http://tfl.nu/jaq9
  Replies (7) Good night (2471) Bad night (762)
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  (650): View more from California

  I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes

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  (650): I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes http://tfl.nu/pban
  Replies (21) Good night (4916) Bad night (1518)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'

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  (306): I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes' http://tfl.nu/oxkp
  Replies (9) Good night (7795) Bad night (1037)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"

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  (847): There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show" http://tfl.nu/r6m2
  Replies (7) Good night (2813) Bad night (1233)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you

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  (612): Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you http://tfl.nu/lizp
  Replies (7) Good night (2727) Bad night (784)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.

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  (508): It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience. http://tfl.nu/aded
  Replies (3) Good night (1176) Bad night (323)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.

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  (210): It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that. http://tfl.nu/m71m
  Replies (0) Good night (299) Bad night (347)
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  (760): View more from California

  Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow

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  (760): Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow http://tfl.nu/8sxf
  Replies (2) Good night (527) Bad night (495)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black

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  (703): That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black http://tfl.nu/kgbj
  Replies (3) Good night (275) Bad night (435)

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