i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
