How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
