it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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