hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..