I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
