There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.