Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(856): View more from New Jersey

and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her

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(360): View more from Washington

All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..

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(775): View more from Nevada

Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"

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