how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize