I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"