Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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