the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
