so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
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i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
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You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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