so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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