In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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