This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i came on her dog
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
