Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize