HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
