Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
