is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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