I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize