This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
be right there i have to get my cape
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
