I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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