I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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