Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
