Whats the glycemic index on semen?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
