Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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