question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
