I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There r osticjed everywhere
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize