Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize